Saturday With Shutter – The Alien Doctor
Seeing as my Human has a busy weekend ahead with Christmas Photo Events at PetValu in Chillicothe for our Friends at Grateful Hearts Senior Dog Rescue on Saturday, and at the Circle Area Humane Society on Sunday I have elected to post this early.
Now for anyone who has been following apparently I had a minor malfunction this week in the area of my gluteus maximus. While that is not the precise location of my discomfort let us just say for the sake of any unwanted visuals this story may conjure, it’s close enough. In plainer English, my ass hurt. A lot!
Now try as I might to convey this problem to my human servant his apparent feeble mindedness left him uncomprehending. He ran his hands all along my spine, laid me on my back and checked all my legs both front and rear (close but no cigar). He even moved my head from side to side and up and down in a pitiful attempt to locate the problem. Short of screaming out “HOT or COLD” I did the best I could to help. I kept turning my head indicating where the problem was. At one point I even jumped up into his lap and showed him the “Business End” of things and still he didn’t get it! Hopeless. Utterly hopeless.
With all my efforts in vain and my human looking as confused as a baby in a topless bar he finally reached out to our friend Dona from Grateful Hearts Senior Dog Rescue. She suggested we contact her veterinarian at North Fork Animal Clinic in Chillicothe, OH. I personally didn’t care if he called a plumber I just wanted some relief.
My human for once did as he was advised and called North Fork where he was greeted by the melodic voice of Mandy. “Absolutely we can see Shutter!” she said. “Can you be here at 10:45am?” It was now only 9:30. My human answered in the affirmative and we were off.
Okay, so here is where the alien stuff comes in. First, they put me on some big square thing called a “scale” that analyzed my body structure and gave them my exact weight! Weird right?! Then they whisked me off to some tiny room with a cold metal table. After a few minutes in came another human named Doctor Lloyd. Like my human servant he too poked and prodded me in every conceivable way except where it hurt.
Unable to locate the source of my discomfort Doctor Lloyd finally said, “I’d like to take him in the back and check his…” I’ll let you fill in the rest. My human nodded and off we went. Alone. Just me and the Doctor. Through what only could have been an inter-dimensional doorway to an Alien Spacecraft! There were computers all along the wall with his minions pecking away like drones and there was this strange smell of pizza in the air. Probably something they pipe through the air filtration system to keep the “worker bee’s” docile. Through a door in the back of the room I could see other canine specimens being detained probably for further study.
He put me on another cold table and blasted me with this intensely bright light. Sound familiar? Then the “Doctor” donned some blue protective gloves and turned me about. That’s when it happened. I am so ashamed to admit it but I, Shutter, was anal probed. I have a microchip under my skin, my body was scanned and now this! After watching “Fire in the Sky” on Netflix I believe I can say with a fair amount of confidence, yep, definitely aliens!
Now I don’t know what Doctor Lloyd (his real alien name is probably something like Nocdurg Lineac or some such) did back there, but the relief was sudden and most welcome. Clearly this was 23rd century medical technology at work in the hands of a master. When he was finished I fully expected to be whisked off into the containment area in the back and replaced with a clone but that didn’t happen. Instead he gently picked me up and we went back through the a fore mentioned inter-dimensional doorway to my human. I don’t know how long I was gone as I’ve read that time stops when you’ve been abducted by aliens, but from my perception this was twice I found relief in as many minutes.
We returned to the lobby area where my human spoke briefly to the lovely Mandy behind the desk and then we were off home. I felt so much better and was ready to return to at least some level of the play for which I am known.
But it wasn’t until I sat down to write this story for you that my suspicions were at least to my mind, confirmed. You see I found a photo of Doctor Lloyd on the computer from a recent photo event my human did that left for me little doubt. Here is Doctor Lloyd on the left and an artist concept drawing of an alien on the right. I’m not saying he is and I’m not saying he isn’t but you have to admit, the similarities are uncanny.
In summation I just want to say this. Alien or human. Visitor from a distant star or gifted medical professional. I personally don’t care. At a time when I needed it most, I found myself in the hands (if they really were hands) of a kind and gentile person/alien whom was there for me in a moments notice. And I will be forever grateful.
Live long and prosper,